Al G Smith

QUESTION:
Does being totally cruel help?
Get you respect? Most of the youngish guys in my town are nuts, some have been cruel to animals and everything and yet they’ve got the most pals and just about everyone respects them.

Some of them openly admit to respecting that guy (motes guy) who shot a police officer and yet it doesn’t seems to bother anybody.

And no offence but the women respect them like **** (and yes, even the women who appear kind)

Is it like this where you live?

ANSWER:
I think you know the answer to this.

Cruelty is never good, never to be ‘respected’, and never acceptable — ever.

If anyone seems to respect someone who is known to be ‘cruel’ it is not truly respect — unless by someone who is too lacking in intellect and.or maturity to be able to have any proper moral values and standards.

If a girl seems to ‘have the hots’ for a guy who is brutal and cruel — (sometimes the idea that girls like ‘bad boys’) it is because they lack maturity and see a ‘false glamour;’ in it, They will later learn, when beaten or abused, or have their heart broken and their emotions torn, that such guys are worthless. Sometimes they foolishly believe that ‘they can tame him’ or ”change him’ — this is usually a false hope.

A really nice girl will appreciate the better qualities of the decent man, and will find the cruel guy a ‘turn-off’ and pitiful.

Moat was simply a brutal bully who had psychological issues, exacerbated by steroid use, for which he did not get the help he needed (largely through his own failure to take the opportunities offered). His case got too much media attention and his actions do not deserve admiration or respect, only pity at best. I am sorry for his children who will eventually have to try an live with the reality of their rathers ignominious existence and death. His brutality was such that his (far too young) ex-girlfriend was so scared of him she lied to try and keep him away from her — and sadly that partly led to the events that unfolded. I feel sorry for her too, and the media claptrap that will have made her life a misery.

You may need to make a plan to get away from the area you live in that seems to have these types that you are evidently not one of. Look at what this ambition will require.

You should also look at how you can develop social contacts with people and groups that do not hold cruelty and bad-behaviou in any ‘esteem. This is a period of social malaise that the country is sadly suffering and it takes a braver person to defy the temptation to join the wasters and the bullies.

Remember it is NOT about trying to get respect from others. You have to have respect for yourself. A man who can honestly say he repects himself and knows he has good and caring heart is a man who WILL become respected by DECENT people.

Being ‘respected’ by trash is no respect at all, and if you gain ’street-respect’ through cruelty — you still have to live with yourself for the rest of your life. If you ‘cut-off’ your own emotions (which will be necessary) in order to ‘live with yourelf’ — you are on the way to becoming just another maladjusted, socially-worthless delinquent..

It’s been a while and by the looks of the blog its time for something a bit more upbeat!! Here’s and answer to this question:

[quote]
“How do you deal with your own negativity?
How do you get yourself to stop your own negativity?
How do you control or train your own mind?

The stupid “pop” psychology with affirmations is just useless c r a p! Makes no difference how many times i tell myself i am a happy, rich, successful, sexy beast…. i don’t believe a word of it because its NOT true!

Do you embrace your own negative mind or reject it and keep trying to push it away?”
[unquote]

You say: “The stupid “pop” psychology with affirmations is just useless c r a p! Makes no difference how many times i tell myself i am a happy, rich, successful, sexy beast…. i don’t believe a word of it because its NOT true!..”

I am sure many people who pick up a little about ‘positive thinking’ probably end up thinking and feeling the same way. It does seem hard, and unreal and indeed untrue to think or (supposedly better yet) say these hthings when they are patently not ‘yet’ the case…

And that’s the point — you are making a positive, present tense statement about something that is NOT yet the case — so yes you are correct it is not ‘yet’ true…

But the idea of using positive statements is one part of a complex set of personal strategies for adopting a mental framework that IMPROVES THE CHANCES that good things will happen and in time the statement you make WILL become true.

We all suffer negativity and negative periods of thought and feeling some times (even often!). When we are inured within our negative cocoon, it is almost certain that we are being too introspective to ’see opportunity’ or ‘appreciate small occasions of good fortune’ or make an impression that will ‘attract nice people’ (or make us appear ‘attractive’ to them)… This means we are shutting ourselves of from the possibility of accessing the ‘better’ route that our lives could be taking…

By trying to short-circuit the negativity — using positive affirmations and focusing on positive outcomes we are simply ‘opening up’ our awareness’ and increasing our chances of recognizing opportunity, devloping relations with nice people, making positive and better choices …and taking that ‘high road’ rather than the ‘low’ one!

So the answer to you final question must be — NO — you do not embrace your negativity. Of course recognize and accept that you have ‘moments’ or even ‘periods’ when negative thoughts may pervade your mind — don’t beat yourself up about this, its ‘normal’ (whatever that is? ;D) — but then push these thoughts and tendencies away using the techniques you are aware of, and focus on the positive and the good.

(Another simple thought is to remind yourself of these things: you may not consider that at the moment that you are “happy, rich, successful, sexy”… but at this moment in time — do you think that there may be others in his world who are less happy? less wealthy (however you define that)? less successful? less sexy? than you… If so then you are already better placed than some people and you need to ‘embrace a feeling of gratitude’ for that — On the other hand if you GENUINELY think you are the unhappiest, poorest, least succesful and least sexy person on the planet — then (besides the fact that this is probably a very vrong) you know that things can ‘only get better’ - and in that thought you should immediately become happier — and already you are in a better position than a moment before!!)

Attaining the things you desire — happiness, wealth, success, ’sexiness’ — is an ongoing process of opening yourself up to obtaining the best that life can offer, and positively taking opportunities that ‘reveal’ themselves to you every day… this is only going to happen if you keep on ‘persisting with’ a determined effort to ‘be positive’ no matter how hard the going gets…

Simply being positive every day — even if you reach the end of you life less weathy, successful or sexy than you once ‘dreamed’ of — makes you a happier person, and one who is ‘more likely’ to attarct positive things, positive people and have a positive aura (and THAT makes you sexy!!)… and one who will ultimately recognize that thay have indeed achieved ‘their postive happy life’ by the definition of the ‘new standards’ by which they they see the world. It’s a win-win situation!

Embracing negativity has only one outcome — a spiralling decline into disatisfaction, unhappiness and a feeling of a lack of fulfillment… that’s fairly obvious, I think.

Wishing you Love & Light!

You might also like to take a look at: http://keytothecode.com/

For those times when our motivation runs low, when we are questioning about our ‘luck’ (or lack of it) and our ‘lot’ in life; here is a pertinent video clip.

Have you ever found yourself thinking, or mouthing, the words “Why are you doing this to me God?” - Ask not why God has ‘done’ something to you - as rather “What are you doing for yourself?”

Here is someone who provides real inspiration and a motivational ‘kick in the pants’ for anyone who thinks they are having a challenging time…and perhaps becoming self pitying:

Inspirational and Motivating